The truth on legend of zelda couples
by Zelda maniac
Summary: OMG ZeldaxLink FOREVER! yea less likley to be true don't ya think? Link read our oneshots/lemons/romance/yaio/genderswap stories and now he has something to say about this! Not only him, but everyone else! R&R plz Im not trying to be a hater here just throwin things out...
1. ZeldaxLink (LINKS POV)

Hey everyone its Link you know, the hero blah blah blah...

Anyways Maniac showed me some LoZ Romance and I got a few things about them.

Today shall be.. Zelda!

Now I guess your thinking that I might say "Ohhh she is SO HAWT and I want to MARRY HER!"

Well guess what?

Zelda is just a big pain in the ass for me!

yea that's right!

If Zelda is SO wise, why does she keep getting her butt kinnaped all the time?

Yea that's what I thoght!

And get this,

I have been saving her butt for years and for what?

Nothing?

Exacally!

I save hyrule and millions of lives and a don't even get a hug?

Some princess don't ya think?

"But Link, why did you save her?"

I saved her because if there was no ruler over this land, people will be cutting there arms off by now mkay?

And now she expects me too risk my life to save thhis place!

"Oh Link... You saved me!"

No Bitch I didn't want a fat pig bossing me around for the rest of my life!

Ok let me mimik zelie for a second,

"Oh im such a pretty princess that can rule the land and i am soo wise that I get kinnapped all the time! And Linky risked his life for me but im too cheap to give him anything in return. Just waiting for myself to get kinnaped and let Link save me again!"

Mhm That's the truth!

Hey I may look like a nice silent hero but belive me, I have assloads of things to say about people!

Well I gotta go now

ganon kinnaped Zelda AGAIN!

Just let the unpaid hero save the day!

* * *

**LOL SOO TRUE!**

**I DONT HATE ZELDA **

**PEOPLE SHES OKAY**

**JUST SAYIN**

**BYE!**


	2. four swords (Green's POV)

**SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY**

**I HAD THINGS TO DO PLACES TO BE OwO**

**WHATEVEA**

**IN DA CHAPTER BLAH BLAH BLAH**

**READ DA THANGN FIND OT**

**GOSH IM TOO LAZY TO TYPE**

* * *

Hey People Link Here!

So what should I wriet about today hm...

FOUR SWORDS

Now I just need to say...

I AM NOT GAY!

And

I would never date myself sorry for the vioxshadow bluexred greenxshadow ect people

But none of us are dating thank you very much

so if I fall in love with blue or somethin

Then I must be really desprate to date myself

I mean I love vio, blue and red

But as brothers I mean

So let's say this all together,

LINK IS NOT GAY!

Thank you very much OwO


	3. LinkxDark link (Link's POV)

**EHHHH SORRY PEOPLE I HADENT WROTE ANYTHING IN A WHILE**

**BUT DONT WORRY**

**EVERY WENSDAYS AND FRIDAYS**

**ILL POST THIS**

* * *

Hey everyone it's link here agin!

Let's see...

Today ill write about... Dark link

YOU GUYS SERIOUS?!

DARK LINK RAPES ME TO THE BED?

I seen a LOT of rape scenes with me and him and I just wanna say,

YOU KIDDDING ME?

He is my opponet who I KILLED A LONG TIME AGO!

So what I am trying to say is

I HATE HIS GUTS END OF STORY!

* * *

**YUP SHORT N SWEET**


	4. GanonxLink (STILL LINK OwO)

**SORRY PEOPLE**

**I CAME BACK LIKE AND HOUR AND A HALF AGO UT MY SISSY BEAT ME TO DA PEW PEW (comPEWter. get it?)**

**SO YEA**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Ok you got to be kidding me on this one.

Ganondorf.

WHY MUST I BE RAPED BY ALL BAD GUYS?!

Ok he is the worst, worst worst, WORST Guy for me to ever "Do it" with.

Ok first off

I HATE HIM!

He kinnaps Zelda all the time just asking me to kick his ass!

Again.

NOT GETTING PAID!

I WASTED A LOT OF BLOOD, SWEAT, TEARS, AND HEARTS FOR YOU ZELDA AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?!

I should sue...

Anyways,

To yall Yaio fangirls who WANTS me to get raped,

WHY GANON?!

JUST WHY?!

And to you Yaio hylian fangirls,

I SAVED YOUR LIVES AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO MAKE OUT WITH MY ENIMIES AND ACUALLY ENJOY IT?!

Again I should really sue Zelda for this...

"WHY ME?!"

PIPE DOWN ZELDA THIS IS MY STORY

"Okay."

NO ACUALLY GET YO ASS OVER HERE AND PAYB ME!

"No Link I got her AGAIN!"

WHAT THE FRICK GANON?!

"Now you must go throuh CRAPLOADS of stuff to save her- AND NOT GET PAYED!"

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I GOTTA GO

BYE!

* * *

**O.O POOR LINK**

**ZELDA IM LOOKING AT DA BILL FOR LINKS SERVICES AND IT SAYS THAT YOU OWE HIM 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 RUPIES!**

**Zelda: wha?**

**Me: IT COST MONEY FOR...**

**DA HOSPITAL**

**SAVIN YO ASS**

**SAVIN HYRULE'S ASS**

**BEING USELESS**

**HIS HAT**

**HIS CLOTHES**

**FOR BEING WITH NAVI**

**FOR YOU SIMPLY EXISTING**

**Zelda: O.O *runs out***

**Me: GET BACK HERE!**

**UGH**

**NEXT SHALL BE...**

**WELL ONLY DEMON KNOWS**

**DEMON IF U TELL ANYONE**

**I SHALL KINNAP BLUE'S HAT MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	5. VioxShadow (VIO'S POV)

**LOL**

**REMEMBER WHEN I SAID EVERY WENSDAYS AND FRIDAY?**

**WELL I LIED OuO**

**I POST IT WHEN I WANNA!**

* * *

Hey people!

Now I have something to say...

WHY MUST I BE PAIRED UP WITH SHADOW?!

HE'S DA BAD GUY!

AND IF I DID

BLUE WILL STRANGLE ME TO DEATH!

Im sorry but me and him going out is less likely to happen...

Sorry fangirls!

But Like Link said...

WE ARE ALL DA SAME PEOPLE!

So uhm shadow pairing up with us to go on quest...

Yea he works for ganondork

"DORF!"

QUIET GANON THIS IS MY POV!

"So?"

"I GOT YOU NOW GANON RELESE ZELDA NOW!"

Uhmmmm

"NEVER!"

"FINE THEN TASTE MY WRATH!"

"NOOOO"

Guys can you go somewhere else?

"Oh Link you saved me!"

"Yea that adds another 100,000,000 rupies for my services"

"..."

"HEY DON'T RUN AWAY!"

Okay...

Back to the story...

SHADOW IS DA ENEMY AND WE SHALL NEVA GO OUT!

END OF STORY!

* * *

**SORRY VIO BUT IT'S FUN TO PAIR YOU UP WITH SHADOW!**

**Vio: Whyyyyyy.**

**Everyone: CUZ ITS FUN!**

**Me: mhm vio**

**Vio: ILL KILL YOU MANIAC!**

**Me: Why thank you :)**

**SEE YA!**


	6. LinkxGhirihim (LINKS POV)

**SO I WAS LOOKING AT MY REQUESTS AND I SHALL DO A...**

**WELL READ THE THING AND STOP READING THIS! OwO**

* * *

Hello Link here agin

Today I shall do..

Lord Ghirihim.

again,

WHY SO I ALWAYS GET RAPED!?

WHY CREUL WORLD?!

So anyways,

I can tell that he has some wierd affection towards me so...

BUT COME ON

HE WAS MAKING THAT SNAKE TOUNGE THING NEAR MY EAR I MEAN, GROSS!

I will admit it.

I AM AFRAID OF THAT THING! D:

ANYMORE QUESTIONS?

MHM THATS WHAT I THOUGT!

* * *

**O.O LINK GHIRI IS HERE TO SEE YOU :D**

**Link: NOOOOOO *Runs off nste**


	7. LinkxMalon (still link --)

**DERP :P**

* * *

Okay people this is the saddest one yet,

Malon

MUST YOU PAIR ME UP WITH EVERY SINGLE GIRL THAT EVER EXISTED IN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA?!

I have a lot of suing to do...

Okay people...

Malon is just a nice, sweet, innocet girl who just taught me a song. I mean she was a big help to me in the game. Without her, I would be walking around the place -_-

"You saying this like you have a crush on her..."

QUIET MANIAC!

Ahem,

Anyways,

I love Malon

but as a sister you know?

But Malon,

WHY IS THERE A COW IN MY TREE HOUSE?!

I should sue AGAIN!

GEE PEOPLE OWE ME A LOT OF MONEY!

"Link help me!"

No bitch you owe me over 100,000,000,000,000 rupies- AND STILL HADENT PAYED!

"..."

EXACALLY!

Anyways,

Even if I did love Malon,

she won't get out of her fairytale

"One day, a knight in shining armor will come sweep me off my feet.."

keep dreaming -_-

* * *

**MHM THATS THE TRUTH**

**ZELDA YOU WILL PAY!**


	8. Linkxruto

**HELLO PEOPLE**

**'TWAS REDING REQUEST SO TODAY I SHOULD DO-**

**Oops!**

**No spoilers! :3**

* * *

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?

RUTO?

SERIOUSLY?

ANSWER ME THIS-

WHO FU**S A FISH?

WHO?

ewww fish smex :(

But I don't know why people think shes crazy...

But she IS so spoiled!

I HAVE TO CARRY HER LAZY ASS INSIDE A FISH!

Ew

fish guts...

Anyways,

When I throw her in water she drowns and disapears into it- AND SHE'S A FUCKING ZORA!

Ugh Zelda logic...

RUTO I AIN'T MARRING YOU!

GOODBYE!


	9. ZeldaxGanon (Zelda's POV)

Hey people Zelda here!

now all I need to say is,

WHY GANON?

WHY?

WHAT DID I EVER DO?

"Not pay me"

EXCEPT THAT!

You think I ENJOY getting kidnaped?

Besides,

If I love ganon I WOULD MARRY HIM AND TAKE OVER DA WORLD!

On second thought,

Ganon could kidnap me, marry me, become the king of hyrule, then turn me into a slave...

"GOOD IDEA!"

NOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

**SMOOTH MOVE ZELDA!**

**REAL SMOOTH!**


	10. VaatixZelda (Vaati)

Hey people Vaati here!

now first of,

Zelda.

WHY?

WHAT MAKE YOU THINK I LIKE HER?

"BECAUSE IN THE FOUR SWORDS ANEVERSARY ON THE 3DS YOU TRIED TO MARRY HER!"

...


	11. MidnaxLink

Hey people midna here!

First off,

Link.

WHY?

HE IS SOO ANNOYING!

I have to sit on his back while he runs around

WHY NINTENDO?

WHY?

Do you know how many times I fell off that thing?

A lot!

Men...

I am so glad that I broke the mirror

SO GLAD!

SEE YA LATER LINK!

NOT!

* * *

**O.O**


	12. TetraxLink

**SORRY THAT I WASENT UPDATING FOLKS!**

* * *

Okay people I need to tell you something,

Tetra.

Why?

SHE IS ZELDA!

Besides, I tried several times to ask her out.

No luck.

Besides,

That girl is never even grateful!

I SAVED YOU FROM A FAT OLD NINJA MAN!

Yea I know that we fought together but seriously,

YOU FAINTED WHEN GANONDORK HIT YOU!

Sheesh some pirate...

Okay I'm done here because I hate everyone..


End file.
